It’s been awhile since I’ve posted here, which I suppose is a good thing. I’ve noticed I only really come here to vent, I guess in a way that’s why it’s here.
Decided to touch on a particularly private part of my life, not really something that I share with many. Well not what I’m gonna put here anyway.
Normally I’d talk to D but she has a man now and you know how that goes, slowly everyone else gets pushed away and forgotten about. The bubble as it may adfectionaly be called so I don’t feel I can properly talk to her right now.
Either way I’m back 😊
Currently on the most painful flight back from Amsterdam. Delayed by an hour and abit then stuck on the plane cos some silly tosser missed his flight and gotta unload their bag. Been a great trip tho met Anthony out there, chilled, smoked, ate and walked around getting lost. Fun, fun, fun.
Back to the title at hand so I’m a prison wife these days but it’s different this time Moo ( nickname) is gone for 4 years!!! Would love to say it’s not his fault but let’s be real he is a drug dealer jail is kinda part of the package right?
How did I end up here u might ask? Well fuck knows LOL This year was supposed to be better than the last and I’m 6 months deep into supporting a fool in a cell and just to make it worse ain’t like man is local 😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
My babes is in Bristol doing his thing.
No you don’t get used to it. No it doesn’t get easier with time and No family and friends don’t understand. Or realise how little things means so much to you or little comments really upset you. Simple things are taken for granted and your not even allowed to get mad or complain at how inconsiderate your best friend can be because they never mean it, didn’t know, you shouldn’t be so sensitive or as they say it’s not a big deal.
To you, no it isn’t and I’m glad your happy but remember some of us have a little way to go so watchin you sit on the phone 24/7 is not only a little bit of an arseholey move but not seeing the problem is just as annoying.
Thankfully my babes has a smart phone so I can essentially talk to him whenever I want but sometimes u get busy and wen he’s free your working or other way around so it doesnt always work.
Not only that but maintaining a connection with someone so far is difficult too especially when you haven’t been able to see them. We have done the 6 months without a visit so until recently the last image I had of him was leaving my bed at silly o’clock on 5th January 2017 saying I’ll be back in abit babes won’t be long.
Sad times right? I miss that man everyday and I’m starting to think it’s getting worse but then again it may jus be work and not being able to make the kind of time that I used too to talk and stuff or maybe jail life is jus getting to me now….
Feel like even thought I have chosen to wait for him, how do I know that it is actually the right choice. He doesn’t really have much unless he plans to start playin in booty mans kinda gotta wait for me but I don’t. It’s hard thought because I tried not too even went on a couple dates but when no one else takes ur interest or really does anything more for u than pass the time what do you do?
How am I supposed to make such a life decision when I struggle to pick my own lunch. It’s even harder when you are consumed by constant loneliness and not a friend u trust enough with the time to give a fuck.
Decisions, decisions I guess. Cant even holla the babes on this one